We often here the term “thinking outside the box.”  Your boss wants that unique idea, he wants to do something nobody else is doing, so bring him fresh ideas.  Or you may want new ideas for your business or career.  Sure, we all want that, but it isn’t always easy to turn on the brain faucet and have genius spill out.  I have an idea that may help you succeed at that, and help you be even more successful in your career.  This is one of the best things I do.  I have no doubt it will work for you.

Every year, pick four things you really want to learn, or get to know much more about.  Then immerse yourself for the next three months of learning that skill. Then move on to the next, while continuing to improve on the skill you just learned.  In one year, you will be at least proficient in four new skills, in two years eight, you get the math. Look back over the last several years of your life. Time is moving regardless of what we do.  Five years ago was not that long ago for most of us.  Twenty additional skills could have had major influence on your life.  I can give a vague example now.  I am in talks about doing a project that may happen down the road, maybe not.  However, in the course of the conversation, a skillset of which I am knowledgeable came up in the conversation.  The people I was speaking with had a different, more promising project that involved someone that knew and could explain this particular skill.  They had no idea I knew anything about this subject matter, and quickly began to express interest in moving the project to the front burner with my involvement. I would have had no shot at being involved if it was not for me spending months learning about this. This skill has nothing to do with how I have made my living, but it could very well in the future.

I have learned about many things over the years, internet marketing, how to build multiple sources of income, speed reading, trading futures, options, and stocks, and others.  Personally, I like to learn from people who have done what I want to do, and do it successfully.  So I have sought out successful people in the fields I want to learn, and learn from them.  You may want to learn how to build a website, become a gourmet chef,  or speak a foreign language. The knowledge is out there.  You just have to go get it.  Not only will learning new things keep you young and curious, you never know how it will change your life.

I was already planning to blog about this. It seems even more poignant now with the possible heath issues of Steve Jobs, co-founder and CEO of Apple.  He gave an amazing speech to the 2005 Stanford University graduates. It has been re-published many times. You can find it on my website at this link http://www.rockyallen.com/rockys-favorites/ Take a few minutes and read it, it is well worth it.

I urge you to implement this plan in your life.  Take a pottery class, learn how to cook gourmet food, learn how to re-finish old furniture, write software, or write poetry.  There are hundreds of adult education classes. I beg you to never give up the quest for knowledge.  The worst thing that can happen to you is….you get smarter.

Despite the title of this article, this will not be some secret revealed that nobody has ever heard of, but rather something far too many people continue to ignore.  Despite us being in the era of “if you want to get what you want, you need to help people get what they want”, there is far too often a subtle thing people do that cost them more than they know. We often do things that impact us negatively, and we don’t realize it.  And because life does not often afford us the opportunity to get comment cards from people to see if they like us, want to be our friend, or buy from us, we lose out on information that could greatly change how successful we could be.  I believe we should all be a collector of people.  I think we should make more friends, we should make more sales, and if possible, always try to make more money.  Not only does it help improve you and your family’s life, but it is the lifeblood of a company.  If you have a business that can benefit from social media (which is almost all businesses) you want to continue to build followers as well.

Have you ever wondered why a person you thought you hit it off with finds excuses to not meet you for lunch, stops taking your calls, or answering your emails?  It is obviously possible that they have poor etiquette, they are busy, or they aren’t the people you thought they were.  It is also possible that they did not like you as much as you liked them.  It could be a simple reason.  It could be something you do or say that you have done so often it has never occurred to you that it may be off-putting.

When I have the opportunity, I always like to ask questions when I talk to people.  It is amazing what you can find out by asking. People may not tell you about what they like or don’t like about you, but you can find out alot by asking them about people they have met recently.  I like to find out what attracted them to this person (as a friend or collegue) and find out what they didn’t like about certain people.  I have found it to be very telling, and a good tool for self improvement.  Often, people don’t enjoy a persons company when  the problem is no more complex than they do something irritating that could easily be corrected.  Simply put, people are often self absorbed, and either can’t, or don’t want to  put themselves in the position of the people with whom they are speaking. I will give you a simple example.  Over the holidays, I was visiting my parents.  I am a person that pretty much lives in golf shirts and shorts.  My mother, who still thinks I am her baby, told me to put some socks on.  I said mom, I am not cold.  She says, how can you not be cold?  I said, I don’t know, I’m not cold. She said, well, I’m cold, I have socks on, you need to put socks on.  Don’t get me wrong. I love my mother dearly.  No one could ask for better parents than I have been blessed to have.  But in this case, it really hit home for me.  We often come at people from our own point of view, and because we experience something, we often expect them to experience, or have experienced what we have.  We overlook their feelings, and perspective, and we lose, sometimes for good, the chance to connect with that person.  Obviously, that is not the case with my mother.  She is a sweet, wonderful person, and by the count of how often her phone rang during our visit, she is blessed with a lot of friends. However, I would imagine, if she came across as a person who knew what was best for everyone, she would wear on people pretty quickly.  We have all been around that person who tells you to taste this, or try that, even though you have never liked that particular thing.  And you hear from them, sure, but you have never tried this. People, please!!!  It doesn’t matter, we don’t want your opinion.  I don’t like asparagus, it could be dipped in chocolate, or wrapped in cheese pizza, and I would hate it.  But I have been told by people, you would like MY asparagus.  Anything is possible, but I am not interested.  And that is the key.  When you start trying to tell people what they should do, or what they should like, instead of asking, you lose them, and maybe forever.

When you don’t give people what they want, but give them what you think they should want, it is a safe bet you will not make more friends, sales, followers, and money. It is a simple thing to correct, but it may not be easy.  Strive to make changes for the better, and you will improve your life, and those around you.  Happy New Year!!